What About Me?

“What about me?!” you scream inside.

 

It`s not fun to feel like you are carrying the whole world on your shoulders. You feel responsible for everyone else`s wellbeing; you go overboard to help others whenever you can with whatever you can. And yet, you feel guilty about asking for what YOU need. You even feel bad or selfish for having needs at all. You might be at the point where you have trouble identifying them.

 

Don`t even get me started on saying ‘no’ to people. That`s like one of the biggest crimes! You end up sitting there agonising over how to refuse to go to an event or give someone a hand with something, or visiting a friend or a relative you don`t want to see (because it`s emotionally draining). You spend hours or days trying to find the right words. Needless to say, you end up saying ‘yes’, because you are afraid to lose their love and respect, to hurt their feelings. So you end up hurting your own.

 

So what, right? You`ve had a lot of practice getting your feelings shoved deeper and deeper inside of you. It has become so familiar it almost feels natural. Nothing new there. Except, there is. Resentment is building up. More and more each time you don`t speak up and make a right choice for you.

 

You expect people to read your mind without you having to express what you need or want. You feel anxious, because you feel responsible for everything to go right, as if you are the only adult in your world.

 

You feel depressed, because you cannot possibly make everyone happy. Your own happiness hardly ever enters the picture.

 

“What about me?” you scream silently. It is time somebody listens to you. It is time you listen to you.

 

This is just a short extract of what co-dependence might feel like. I will talk more about it in my future posts. I just want you to know that there is a way out and #youarenotalone.

 

Specializing in Co-Dependency, Trauma, Toxic shame and Narcissistic abuse

About Me and Services I Offer:

I felt like a fraud

I am a qualified counsellor and psychotherapist on my own journey to myself.

 

In my twenties I became anxious, depressed and completely unable to navigate life and relationships in a functional way. I did whatever it took to not be alone; my fear of being abandoned, which stemmed from my childhood experiences, ruled my life completely. It led me to get involved in unhealthy relationship dynamics, jobs I hated, and make friends with people who didn`t appreciate me. I was just unhappy about my life in general.

I felt inadequate and embarrassed about every aspect of myself. All my energy went into hiding my real self from the world. People saw me as happy, bubbly, outgoing and sarcastic. All of those things I worked hard to preserve and keep up the appearances. Needless to say, I felt unfulfilled. I felt like a fraud.

Cutting the long story short, I hit my version of rock bottom. It forced me to go on a journey of self-discovery; I started learning to love myself, even the embarrassing ugly bits. I learned to show the world who I really was and take up space that I knew I deserved. I gave myself permission to be imperfect - to be human. I had to learn to say good-bye to people who were not happy with the boundaries I put in place. It was scary and painful, but I knew that if I kept compromising my own values, it would be the end of me.

I am still learning, because this journey is forever-evolving. However, I now know who I am. I know that I am enough just as I am. I know that I can handle life`s challenges and not only survive, but thrive. I want you to have the joy of getting to know and getting to love YOU. That is what I am here for.

 

To book a session contact me here:

Marina Stepanova, PGDip, MBACP

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